


Drunk Shopping

by Baamon5evr



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Robot AU, Robot/Human Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6214222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baamon5evr/pseuds/Baamon5evr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam does strange things when he's drunk, like buy a robot companion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunk Shopping

Sam's done a lot of dumb things while drunk. He's broken into his neighbors' house thinking it was his. Once he spent three hours drunk texting his mother his minute by minute reaction to 'Django: Unchained.' He's ended up in the drunk tank with Clint because they were running around the highway chasing birds (Laura had let them stay there over the weekend before coming for them and still nearly kicked both of their asses). Hell, he had unprotected sex with Bucky while drunk and was almost killed by Natasha for it (but that got her to admit her feelings so he called that a win even though he immediately went to the doctor after because Bucky spread himself around before he got with Natasha.) Yes, Sam has done many stupid things but when he opened the door and found a ridiculously attractive blonde man standing outside his door and heard his next words he vowed never to drink again.

"Uh, hi..."

"Hello, I'm Steve. I'm your SMAIC."

"My what?"

"Stark Model Artificially Intelligent Companion."

"Huh?" The blonde, "Steve", gave him an impish smile.

"I'm your robot boyfriend." Sam's mouth might have dropped open at that before he snapped it shut.

"Did Natasha and Sharon put you up this?"

"No."

"Leila?"

"I don't know who that is."

"Bucky?" He shrugged cluelessly. Suddenly another man appeared.

"Now who are you?"

"Name's Happy Hogan. I'm head of security for Ms. Potts and Mr. Stark. I personally deliver all SMAICs. Ms. Potts would like me to inform you we're still working on a name. Mr. Stark would like me to inform you that we're not."

"Does anyone want to inform me what the hell's going on?" Sam asked. "Happy Hogan" took out a Starkpad and tapped a few buttons before passing it over to him. It showed a digital receipt with all his information for the purchase of a SMAIC.

_Oh my god, I spent $2000 on a sex robot._

"Drunk shopping?" Happy asked with a knowing smile. Sam nodded numbly, passing the Pad back.

"Oh, did you do the thing?" He asked Steve.

"The thing?" Sam asked. Steve looked at him with something like a smirk and okay he's way too hot for his own good.

"Hi. My name is Steve. I have just met you and I love you." Sam stared for a second before he started laughing.

"It was one of your special requests." Steve explained.

"Yeah, that sounds like me." Sam answered as he sobered up and then looked between the two men.

"Now what?"

"Well you could turn him away now, get a refund. You could invite him in, the time frame for returns is two weeks." Sam sensed Happy wanted to say something else but wouldn't with Steve there.

"Wanna check out the digs?" He asked Steve, pointing inside to his apartment. Steve got the expression of an excited puppy before sliding past Sam and beginning to explore the house. Sam turned to look at Happy quizzically.

"He's been dumped before, used and then sent back in the two week time frame. His first companion, Peggy Carter, died and ever since then it's never worked out. The Board wants him decommissioned, says he's taking up resources. Just give him a chance. Please?" Sam looked at him torn. He felt for Steve but wasn't looking to be the owner of a live action sex toy and told Happy as much.

"The SMAICs are companions, they weren't designed just for sex. They work as service companions for veterans, live-in aides for elderly and terminally sick, friends, roommates, family. Plus out of all of them Steve's the most self-thinking." Before Sam could answer Steve came back around the corner.

"You have a very nice home, Sam."

"Glad you like it. It's gonna be your place for the foreseeable future." Steve stared at him hesitantly before a smile to put the sun to shame bloomed on his face, leaving Sam no choice but to return it.

"Really?"

"Yeah man, really." Steve smiled impossibly wider at him before he suddenly lunged forward and pressed his lips to Sam's. Sam blinked at the touch of lips, Steve's lips were softer than he expected a robot's to be and though he wanted to keep the kiss going he gently pulled away with a nervous chuckle.

"Rule number 1: no kissing or any of that. I don't know you and you don't know me so let's take things slow, okay?" Steve looked at sheepishly.

"Okay, sorry."

"Hey, go get your bags." Happy told him. Steve practically bounced outside to Happy's car, leaving the men together.

"Thanks, really. I really don't want to see Ms. Potts' face if I bring him back or to see him spend the car ride staring at Ms. Carter's picture."

"Did he love her?"

"He did and not because a program said he should, he fell in love with her. He could fall for you too."

"Who says I want him to?"

"No one but you're his type, don't be surprised if he does."

"I'm ready." Steve announced, returning in record time. Sam wasn't sure he was ready for any of this, the notion of love aside, but he wasn't opposed to finding out.

Steve came into the house.

He never leaves.


End file.
